Celebrating 1776 is Offensive in Today’s America

Dennis Perry, the principal of New Jersey’s Cherry Hill High School, must not be a millennial. If he was, he would have known that literally everything relating to the 250+ years of American history prior to the election of Barack Hussein Obama (and most of what has happened since) is impossibly offensive and unmentionable. Certainly he would have known that we now live in an era where American flags, the national anthem, and ANY mention of the racist, colonialist, gruesome founding of the United States is horrifying to every citizen other than white, straight, male Republican NAZIS. And thus he would not have encouraged the school to use the prom theme: “Party Like It’s 1776.”

Well, now he knows better.

“I am writing to apologize for the hurt feelings this reference caused for members of our school family,” the chastised Perry wrote in a letter on Friday. “I especially apologize to our African American students, who I have let down by not initially recognizing the inappropriateness of this wording.”

Oh man, we don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Scrambling to make amends after a handful of students grew OUTRAGED!!1 over the prom theme, Perry announced that no one would need to purchase tickets to go to the dance, that the tickets themselves would be redesigned to make them less horrifyingly offensive, and that he would personally make sure there were “safeguards” in place to prevent anything like this ever happens again.

Hilariously enough, the prom is being held at the National Constitution Center in Philly, which makes us think there will be ample occasion for outrage-inclined students to once again be offended before this whole sad situation can be put in the past.

Lordy, lordy, this country…

To deny that black Americans might feel some kind of way about the founding of our great nation would be as stupidly blind at the millennial idiots who grow hysterical at every slight, real or imagined. It is true that ours was a nation founded in imperfection. It is true that slavery was the law of the land in the South, and that the North benefited financially, even if it didn’t participate in the institution itself. These are America’s “original sins” and they shouldn’t be whitewashed, forgotten, or excused.

But to use those sins as a platform to turn modern Americans against everything that this country stands for – of everything our FOUNDING stood for – is too grave a mistake to allow. The founding fathers may not have been deities, but they were men of genius doing courageous work that set the stage for a country like this world has never seen. We are the torch-bearers of that work, and we cannot properly carry that torch if we fail to celebrate the initial spark. The founders of this country may not have gotten everything right, but if our standard for celebration and heroism is “100% perfect with no flaws,” we will have no celebrations, we will have no heroes. Young liberals may like that idea, but we’re going to push back on it with every bit of strength we have, every time.

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