Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul has made it a holiday tradition to release an annual list of grievances on Twitter, and this year many of his complaints were directed at President-elect Donald Trump. Paul’s grievances are inspired, of course, by the sitcom Seinfeld and the fictitious holiday of “Festivus.” So let’s gather around a cheap metal pole and hear what the libertarian Republican has to say, shall we?
Paul started the festivities with a shot against the “fake news” hysteria.
“On the media & #fakenews: Festivus is real, media, so don’t try 2 fact check it. And @TheOnion is more accurate than a Brian Williams report,” Paul wrote.
True enough, but you don’t need to stop at famed war reporter Williams. You can include his network, CNN, and the rest of the liberal media. They’ve always been allergic to the truth, but that allergy turned into full blown pneumonia in 2016. Hillary Clinton’s collapse in September might have been an omen for the establishment press.
Paul then turned his attention to Donald Trump’s developing Cabinet.
“New administration is lookin good,” he wrote. “Haven’t seen this many billionaires in 1 place since I staked out Bilderbergs w/ Alex Jones. Good times.”
Can’t say he doesn’t have a point on this one, but being a billionaire doesn’t preclude someone from being right for the job. So far, most of Trump’s choices seem fairly solid. If there’s a problem, let’s bring it up and discuss it. But the person’s bank account shouldn’t have anything to do with it.
“I know I’ve said a lot about @AmbJohnBolton so you’re probably expecting me 2 say something nice for the holidays,” Paul continued. “Nope.”
Paul has made it clear that he does not support Bolton or his hawkish neoconservatism, so no surprise here.
The Kentucky senator got a dig in at former Texas Governor Rick Perry as well: “My favorite Cabinet pick is what’s his name, umm it’s that guy who wanted to eliminate the Dept. of @ENERGY. Hang on I’ll think of it…”
Perry’s never gonna live it down…
The best of the Festivus tweets, though, are Paul’s hilarious jabs at wasteful government spending. Here are his most egregious examples of idiotic projects being funded by the American taxpayer:
“What do sea monsters, a superhero cartoon in Pakistan & gambling habits of Ugandans have in common? It’s time for more #AiringofGrievances!”
“The national Park Service announced a grant 2 study ‘Knowledge, Experience and Beliefs of the Supernatural Environment.'”
“I bet you didn’t know the federal government is using $30,000 of your taxes to study Ugandan gambling practices.”
No, no we did not. But as long as Paul keeps up this beloved annual tradition, Festivus will relieve us of our ignorance in the best possible fashion.