A sociology professor at College of Southern Nevada took the Resistance to the next level on August 28 when he dipped into a campus bathroom, taped a $100 bill to the mirror, and proceeded to shoot himself in the arm. After staggering out of the bathroom into the helping hands of students and faculty, Mark J. Bird told those attending to his wounds that he had done the deed to protest the presidency of Donald Trump.
Because, you know, at a certain point, ranting on Facebook just doesn’t get it anymore.
Very few further details have emerged about the longtime sociology professor or his reasons for believing that shooting himself in the arm would have some effect on Washington politics, but we do know why he pinned that $100 to the mirror: It was for the janitor, whom Bird figured would have to clean up the mess. A report on the whole sordid mess in the Las Vegas Review-Journal failed to find out whether or not the janitor got his reward, which we can probably all agree is the most important aspect of the story.
From the Review-Journal:
Mark J. Bird was charged last month with discharging a gun within a prohibited structure, carrying a concealed weapon without a permit and possessing a dangerous weapon on school property, court records show. He was found bleeding from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to his arm about 8:15 a.m. on Aug. 28 outside a bathroom in the Charleston campus K building.
A 911 call was made after several CSN employees and at least one student saw Bird stumble out of the bathroom, bleeding, before he collapsed, the report said. None of the witnesses — who later told police they only recalled hearing “a loud noise” — initially knew that Bird was armed and had shot himself, according to the report.
One college employee told police that he held Bird’s hand to calm him down as others tried to stop the bleeding. While waiting for authorities to arrive, Bird said he had shot himself in protest of President Donald Trump, police noted in their report. The report did not elaborate.
School officials have yet to fire Bird or outline any disciplinary actions against him, but we sincerely hope they’re not thinking about letting him back into the classroom. We’ve seen some serious cases of Trump Derangement Syndrome in our time, but this might just take the cake.
Although…if leftists find themselves outraged enough by Trump that they just HAVE to shoot someone, we guess this scenario is about as good an outcome as we can hope for.