Liberals Turn to Fantasies and NyQuil to Cope With Trump




According to a feature story on Yahoo News, liberals around the country are having a hard time drifting to sleep under the Donald Trump presidency. We can only guess this article came about as a result of a casting call that went something like this: “Hey, want to get your name in a Yahoo News article? Tell us how terrible your life has become since Trump was elected! Feel free to exaggerate!”

“Blue America is having trouble with sleep – tossing and turning as they lie awake, then falling into nightmares,” Yahoo tells us. “And those who are suffering tend to blame the 45th president of the United States.”

The site spoke to fashion designer Ariane Zurcher, who said, “I have not slept a full night since the election. I’m 56 years old. I have never had insomnia or issues with sleeping until this.”

The site heard from Chicago writer Lea Grover, who “has spent more than one night calculating where in her home she could build fake walls behind which to hide immigrants facing deportation.”

By that, she means it crossed her mind one night for five seconds and then she started telling all her writer friends about her heroic fantasies.

Of course, that’s perhaps less pathetic than Diana Noya of Yardley, Pa, who is forcing herself to stay up late and get up early so she can pound out another missive to her state’s elected officials. Noya told Yahoo that she must pounce on the latest news so she can participate in #theresistance.

“I feel like I have to consume it all in order to get my own thoughts out to my senators and representatives right away,” Noya said. “So I’m exhausted, but resisting.”

And then there are those who are too distraught to do anything but chase the Trump blues away with the drug of their preference.

“Kasie Shiflett, a bartender and waitress at Dino’s Gourmet in Plattsburgh, NY, turns to Tylenol PM,” Yahoo News reports. “Mary Molina, a retired clinical research assistant in Durham, NC, rotates among bourbon, vodka, or melatonin, depending on the night.”

Other tortured liberals are turning to Glenfiddich, Seroquel, and medical marijuana.

We’d like to believe that people are just making these stories up, but then you have to wonder who would put their real name next to some of these claims. To shamelessly tell the world that your life is falling apart because of Donald Trump is almost as bad as your life actually falling apart because of Donald Trump.

Either way, it’s a window into the fragile mental state of America’s Democrats, and it shows you why the country suffers when their candidates win elections.

 


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