Trump Now Responsible for Barbra Streisand’s Weight Problem

By the time Donald Trump takes his final helicopter ride out of Washington, we can only imagine the number of things for which he will have been blamed by surly liberals. Sure, there’s the obvious stuff: Demonizing minorities, dividing the country, lowering our political discourse, energizing hate groups, and on and on. But why stop there? After all, when you’ve decided, “This man is my enemy,” you can conveniently blame him for everything that’s wrong – even things in your own life. Just take it from Barbra Streisand, who insists that President Trump is responsible for her expanding waistline.

“Donald Trump is making me gain weight,” she tweeted on Sunday. “I start the day with liquids, but after the morning news, I eat pancakes smothered in maple syrup!”

“Trump just accused Obama of tapping his phones,” she wrote in a follow-up. “Seriously crazy times. Time for more pancakes.”

Now, we understand that Streisand is kidding – well, we think she is – but we wouldn’t be surprised if there’s more truth to her joke than she would admit in public. Because in a certain way, it goes to the core of what it means to be a liberal.

It’s not a “liberal” trait to identify as unhappy or unfulfilled – that’s a curse that can befall anyone at anytime, usually when the life you’re living doesn’t match some story in your head. But it could be said that when a conservative finds themselves in this unfortunate state, they go looking within themselves to find the problem. What am I doing wrong? How can I fix this situation? And if the answer can’t be found, a conservative will often go deeper – beyond the world and its fluctuations of happy and sad and into a realm of peace that comes with knowing that there is something much greater than any of us.

Liberals, on the other hand, do not bother with this type of introspection. Oh, they are all about delving deeply into their minds and finding the roots of their unhappiness in things that happened to them, but that’s not true introspection. That’s called: Finding out who or what you can blame for your current misery. Oh, it’s my parents’ fault that I’m like this! It’s because of those bullies in the 3rd grade! It was that thing my husband said to me eight years ago! That’s probably very fascinating and diverting, but it won’t bring happiness or fulfillment. And when your personal history can’t fill that void, you go looking  elsewhere. It’s racism that’s stopping me from being happy! How can I be happy when women make less than men? How can I find peace when the world is so evil?

So while it may seem absurd for a liberal to blame Donald Trump for their poor eating habits, is it really any more absurd than blaming “social injustice” or “income inequality” or “400 years of oppression” or anything else that actually has nothing to do with your life? It’s all insanity – it just comes in varying degrees of ridiculousness. If a wealthy, famous superstar can still see themselves as victimized by the world, it should be clear that it’s a mindset – not a product of circumstance. It can be uncomfortable to leave that victimized identity behind, but it is the only true step towards freedom.

Ultimately, it’s simple: Eat your pancakes or don’t eat your pancakes. But don’t do one while wishing you were doing the other. And don’t blame someone else for “making” you do something you don’t “want” to do. That’s fake. That’s fiction. That’s insane. That’s dependency. That’s slavery.

That’s liberalism.

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